Let me just slide on in. It's so warm, like a tunnel of love.

So the final round of the 2009 Masters is in the books.  Many entered but only one remains.  Angel Cabrera walked away this evening with the green jacket, but he had some help from the field to capture his second major title.

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny.  What the hell happened out there.  Two up with 2 to play and you have to go and end up in a playoff.  What were you thinking?  You hit up to number 16 only inches from the pin for a tap in birdie, but then you have to bogey 17 AND 18.  Come on man.

I felt like I was watching the Houston Rockets and the Astros combined.  An epic meltdown.  This one will be told for years to come.  Congratulations, Kenny Perry, you just got yourself the honor of being mentioned in the same breath as Greg Norman for most heart wrenching losses in Masters history.  The lore may haunt him forever.  Forever.  For-ev-er.

Personally, i was pulling for him every step of the way.  When he dropped the bogey putt on 17, I thought no big deal.  Par is for sure on 18.  But no.  He had to bogey that one too.  Noooooooo!  It then took two holes of sudden death before he succumbed to Angel Cabrera.  Doesn’t that just beat all.  Can’t an American catch a break?  Another job stolen by a foreign citizen.  Okay I jest.  You have to respect this guy’s game.

What a final round it was though.  I had not seen one this exciting in years.  For a moment, Mickelson climbed the leaderboard in heroic fashion.  I thought he might just have a chance.  But as usual he took the NASCAR approach and went down in flames.  At least he beat Tiger, who also made a comeback but faltered at the end as well.

Shingo Katayama was in the hunt near the end but his hat got in the way.  It was a shame.

I thought Steve Stricker might creep up to the top at one point, but again no joy for him in a final round.  His bag just did not go to eleven like he needed it to.

When all the scorecards were signed and turned in Angel Cabrera emerged as the victor.  A hard fought bloody battle, he slayed his enemies with a sword the shape of a 3-wood and daggers built of divot tools.  Some may think it a bit unexpected, but he proved all the doubters wrong.

We tried to get an interview [Ed. Note - WHAT?! No interview?!], but it turns out Mr. Cabrera does not speak English very well.  His translator was busy.  And since I’m a red-blooded American, I couldn’t understand what the hell he was saying.  But we at Fourth and Fifty congratulate you on a round well played.

Kenny, well what can I say.  I offer my condolences and my criticisms.  “Maybe next year,” is how they commonly phrase it.  But to be honest, this may have been the best shot.

Again, I think the team of Pipez and I could have handled this course well enough to win, but not embarrass the other players too badly.  Especially if it was played at Wildcat.   That gets me to thinking though, I think I’ll start a PGA tour for 2-man scramble teams.  We’ll have our own major.   Who’s with me?

Say hello to your mother for me,

Moose Knuckle

[Photo by Harry How/Getty Images]