Move, bitch, get out the way!

Fourth and Fifty ESPN sources say that the Clippers are trading Zach Efron Randolph to the Grizzlies for Quentin Richardson. This is the second time Randolph has been moved in recent years for the sole purpose of getting him the hell away from the new #1 pick. This happened with the Blazers when Greg Oden was drafted. This year it was the Clippers getting all self-righteous and trading him so his stink doesn’t get all over Blake Griffin. You know, because the Clippers otherwise are the model of franchise management and corporate citizenry.

Some might call the semi-annual Randolph moves “addition by subtraction”. I call it “addition by getting rid of the guy who will literally murder someone at some point”. He is a 20-10-5 guy, the “5″ being “number of times per season picked up by police but then having the charges quietly dropped”. So good luck to the good folks in Memphis, TN. Pairing Randolph with Rudy gay is exactly what you don’t need.

And what is the deal with Quentin Richardson playing bridesmaid in all these trades? First he was traded for Darko. Now he’s traded for Randolph.Talk about a fall from grace. Just several years ago he was engaged to Brandi and doing Nike Commercials as part of the coolest young duo in the league. What the hell were we thinking? You loved the head-double-dap just as much as I did:

On to your local Houston sports updates.By the way, to all the gentlemen in the audience – the best way to get rid of your girlfriend/wife is to send her a Valentines’ Day song-o-gram with Zach Randolph…

ASTROS: Beat the Fathers (in Espanol) 7-1. The Astros “erupted” in the 4th inning. No, I’m not going to do it. That fruit is hanging too low. Fine, fine. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!! I don’t want to jinx anything, but the starting pitching squad has seem to have forgotten that it is not the 1988 Dodgers (best team ever). 2.11 ERA for the starters over the last 11 games? Ridonculous.

TEXANS: Did you know that DeMeco Ryans was an Academic All American? Graduated cum laude. No, we’re not going there. Get your mind out of the gutter. Fine, just to shut you up. Cum laude? THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! Cheerleader photo shoot. Fairly disappointing, to be honest with you.

ROCKETS: Wondering how well the meeting with Mar-in Gortat went, after the Morey-induced virtual love-fest that happened yesterday. At least Gortat knows karate. On a serious note, we at FaF hope that Morey’s computer brain wins out over his emotional “human” side, because I’d be freaking out and offering the league max to Gortat, a player who averages something like 4 ppg. I’d be chasing after Gortat like stock brokers are chasing after any rumor of good news that the economy still isn’t in the tank. Unemployment will continue to rise for 4 more years, but on the upside Atria posted a smaller-than-anticipated loss last quarter! Morey, you need to shut off your emotional cortex like Arnold in T2 – tell Gortat “I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do.”

Picture from here.