America! You betcha!

Happy 4th of July weekend hangover day! Hope everyone had a great mini-vaycay. We spent the entire weekend fixing The Random Fence from Ike, which was fantastic considering every day was a record-breaking high. In the spirit of patriotism, here are a few sport-ish things I love that are uniquely American:

On to your extremely patriotic Houston sports updates…(patriotic until Rick Perry secedes from the nation)

ASTROS: Beat the Giants 7-1 after a few very bad losses. Hunter Pence and Miggy are All-Stars.

TEXANS: The Random Baby Momma during a Matt Schaub interview: “Is our TV messed up, or is his face really that long?” Off-season wrap-up video. I’m coming around on Cush-Lash, btw. Can’t wait to see him in the next Twilight film.

ROCKETS: The upside to not getting Gortat is now we have a Public Enemy #1 in Dallas. A goofy-looking foreign white guy on the Mavericks? Very exciting. El Rat says Gortat is the second coming of Desagnia Diop. Rockets.com breaks down the top guards, wings, and bigs available in free agency. I’d target from each group The Ramons (Sessions), Trevor Ariza, and Absolutely Nobody, respectively. Maybe take a flyer on Chris Wilcox? He’s beefy enough to play some center.

DYNAMO: Beat the Kansas City Wizards 1-0. Kei Kamara header FTW. Our goalie has 8 consecutive shutouts, leading the league.

COOGS: Cooga Pride Road Tour! Perhaps we should go and secure an interview or two…

Photo from here. It’s totally fake, by the way. Palin is way too vain to ever let those thighs get so thunderous.