Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
We are all our own devil and we make this world our hell.
Go Away!
Go Away. Just go away. Stop this nonsense.
I. Can’t. Take. It. Any. More.
I hope you choke on Vinsanthe Shiancoe’s cock and die.
On to your Houston sports updates:
ASTROS – The Marlins put the whoopin’ on the ‘Stros again yesterday. In the friendly confines of the Juicebox, Houston couldn’t manage more than three hits against Ricky Nosalco. A two-run homer by Carlos Lee in the first inning would be the only scoring that they would throw up on the board. From there on out the Marlins took over: 6-2 is your final. And before I forget, the official Fourth and Fifty send-off for Pudge Rodiriguez: A dismissive wank, Filmdrunk style..
ROCKETS – Former Rocket, Dirk Minniefield (which is damn close to a tremendous porn name), is giving the club a bit of a black eye. Actually, he’s not. I don’t even know who the guy is or when he played, but that doesn’t stop the Googles from pulling him ups on mai screens. He is charged with mortgage fraud in the case of Michigan v. I Don’t Give a Fuck. And new center David Andersen is supposed to be on Sports Radio 610 today… Just saying.
TEXANS – Players that you never knew about nor would have learned the names of even if they made the team have been cut. Be given the knowledge here. I mean here.
UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON – ESPN is really outdoing themselves this week. Another profile about the Cougars. This time it’s about *GASP* the defense… Uh oh. My favorite quote is thus, “we are not playing against teams that are 3 yards and a cloud of dust.” That’s a magnificent sentence. Matt Nicholson just vaulted up to the top of the Fourth and Fifty favorite defensive players of 2009 list.
- Septimus Rex
[Photo from The Outside Looking In]
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Sadly, the Astros (and some of their blind fans) realize, only too late, like the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah that they should have listened to the Lord. I speak His word. Their pride and decadence were their undoing. They thought that a handful of big salaried players together with subpar and overpriced free agents would make a good team. It does not. It makes an old, crappy team. And so, the team has been smitten — showered in a flood of brimstone and turned into pillars of salt. So they trade Ivan ROIDriguez for what is no doubt less than they would have received before the trade deadline. If only they had shipped him, and another known juicer -Tejada – along with Valverde the Astros could have built their Ark to save themselves from the flood while all those around them drowned. Their farm system would have gotten in return the equivalent of a whole new draft class – they could have shaved a year off its rebuilding. Instead, we have a lackluster effort which comes too late to do nearly as much good as it could have. Let us bow our heads in prayer in remembrance of the 2009 Houston Astros.