Song of the Day: Tim Fite – “Big Mistake“

Thank goodness for the MLB Postseason. It makes the whole 493 game season worth while… for fans that are lucky enough to have their team be one of the eight that make it.  Luckily for us Houstonians, we were able to give up on the Astros just after the sweep of the Cardinals following the All-Star Game. Baseball? We don’t need no stinkin’ baseball?

Give us football. Shower us with preseason games. Show us a mediocre 3 and 3 professional team. Vault our inner-city college program into the top 20 in the nation. Let that rich, liberal arts institution next door wither and fail time after time on their way to an 0-12 season. Success, futility and everything in between. We’re afforded much by our sporting teams, fair citizens.

The UFC and Nascar will someday usurp all other sports in America. For now, we’ll pay homage to the World Series in anticipation of that day. It’s something of a forgone conclusion that the Yankees (up 3-1) and the Phillies (up 3-1) will face off on the big stage come December. But, if you watch the video above you’ll realize that the umps owe the Angels a game or two. Not to mention this video that was all the rage of conspiracy theorists yesterday:

Sometimes an double play is just a single out and a spit ball isn’t illegal.

But, we’ll hold off on the criticism of officiating in professional sports for a little bit. There will be plenty to go around once the NBA season tips off and the scab refs standing in for their striking partisans miss roughly 1/5 of the calls they should make a game and try to compensate for it with 5X the bad calls. I’m really looking forward to seeing Pops Nambla-Bonsu foul out in the second quarter of every game this season.

On to the rest of your Houston sports:

TEXAS aTm (f)AGGIES – WHAAAAAAAAA?! Hold your horses, FaFalians. Pipez sent this to me this morning and it deserves a spot in your morning reading (and your heart). Fear not. The Aggie Yell Leaders homoerotic song and carseat dance will live on forever. Texas Tech fans have made sure of it, even dedicating a website to the video in question. Your workday procrastination question is thus: Which is worse? The OU “All The Sooner Fans” or the aTm “Touch My Ding Ding Dong.” Discuss.

AEROS – JOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNN ROOYYYYYAAAAAAAAALLL!!!! Damn you, you fat pedophilic fuck. I can’t even read Aeros coverage without seeing your name as the author. You’re spreading yourself too thin. And, let’s face it, that’s the only thing about you that resembles “thin.” I never really liked the Houston Press in the first place, but you’re making it completely unbearable.

ASTROS – As Houston goes through a change in regime, one thing will remain the same. Jose Cruz will still be with the organization. He accepted the Astros’ offer of having him stay with the club as a community liason and play “pretend,” wearing his uniform on game day. “Aw, look at him! He’s so cute dressed up like he’s a real player coach. That’s so precious. Has he been potty trained yet? Mine took 6 years to shake the diapers. He’ll be fine.”

UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON – Face-stomping behind him, Aubrey Coleman has apparently made the preseason All-CUSA team. I’m not really sure what that means, and I’m definitely not certain that this is a legitimate informational website, but it says it and I’m linking to it. The Collegian… an independent student newspaper for Tulsa.

TEXANS – You’re damn right it’s all about the touches for Steve Slaton. In fact, how about giving him a few more. He’s fucking killing my fantasy team right now. Get some more production out of him in these first few years so that when he hits the wall after his 5th season it won’t seem like it was all for naught.

TEXANS (BONUS) – And that’s exactly what Chris White provided to the opposing defensive line last week, a bonus addition to the bodily fluids already present on the field. I know that Cincinnati is somewhat of a shit hole town, Chris, but that doesn’t give you the right to piss on the field… with your pants still on… in the middle of the game… Talk about leaving it all on the field. My bladder’s pushing me right now to run down the hallway to the restroom. Because I haven’t finished writing this paragraph does that mean I should just let it flow? Oh… ooops. There it goes. That feels delightful.

FaF PICK’EM – Make sure you sign up for the Pick’em Group that we set up over on Yahoo!. A post is at stake. And a signed Fourth and Fifty jersey* (with “Motherfuckery” as the name and “69″ as the number… how clever). And a Baby Edison DVD (provided by TRG). And the Moon. You can WIN all of that!!

- Septimus Rex

* = Doesn’t exist, but wouldn’t it be cool if it did?