Song of the day: Guster – Amsterdam

It’s the Friday before a home game, and I’m half-assing it at work today. No, contrary to popular belief I don’t half-ass it normally. Also, I’m hungover… So that helps too.

It’s a slow news day (for me), because I feel like everyone is gearing up for a big weekend of sports/golf/kids/whatever it is you all do with your lives.  Even deadspin has had to resort to such tactics as delving into the web of sexual encounters between employees of the Worldwide leader. This made TRG wish he was an ESPN employee, so he can sexually harass Bill Simmons.

So, instead of writing funny things I’m going to give you a link that provided me with this gif. Pretend these pictures were the funny things I would be writing here.

Saint Breesus, Giant Slayer

http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/the_sporting_blog/author/LSUFreek.tsn

Houston Astros: If you haven’t heard they are trying to find a new manager to lead them to mediocrity…. Maybe they should find a new owner????

Houston Rockets: Pops Nambla-Bonsu made the team! Congratulations! But if he lives up to his name, that roster spot just might be opening back up… Also, the final preseason game is tonight against the Mavericks. Get your popcorn ready to watch two teams play their back-ups at 3/4 speed, officiated by back-up refs.

Houston Texans: Are patting themselves on the back for drafting Brian Cushing, since he is one of the best defensive rookies in the nation. Hopefully, this doesn’t mean that they are going to lay an egg against the 49ers this weekend. However, my financial consultant advised me to take the 49ers over the Texans if I chose to bet on this game FWIW. But if the Texans do lose? Take this advice from another losing team.

Houston Cougars: Damn you Scampi, and you’re upbeat headlines that make me get pumped up for game day tomorrow! UH Focuses on Improving One of the Nations Worst Defenses. Stop cramping our style! (get it, cramping????… crickets…..sigh)