Henceforth, Dali was always more careful zipping back up.

We’re quite fond of our name around here. You can probably tell that from the ways that we manage to throw it into the headlines of our posts. “FaF This” and “FaF That”… “Fourth and Farewell,” “Fourth and [insert word that begins with 'F']“… You get the point. It took us a damn long time [read: two hours] to arrive at that fandamntastic name that graces the header. But, there’s one thing that we’ve worked longer to foster and something that we’re even more fond of than our name: Our testicles.

That’s right… Our gonads hold a special spot in our scrotum heart. We hope, dear reader, that you feel the same way about your balls as we do (no homo). That statement is not intended for the 1.62367 women that read this blog. For you, ladies, we hope that you love that special man in your life’s balls deep(ly). We love our man meat so much that we’re willing to do something to make sure the whole kit-n-kaboodle stays intact for a long time to come.

We’ve done our part around here to make fun at others’ expense. Now, we’ve figured out how to reverse the tables (slightly) and help out a good cause at the same time. Let me introduce you to Movember. Movember starts on November 1st. And, trust me… It will lead to a month’s worth of hilarity as we chronicle our journey in an attempt to raise money for awareness of men’s cancers. Behold, the video:

At the behest of one of our readers Fourth and Fifty is going to attempt to grow mustaches in the name of cancer research and gonad fortitude. Why do we think this is funny? Because at best Septimus Rex and Pipez rank their ’stache-growing ability at a solid 2.5 out of 10, TRG’s wife probably won’t let him do it (the baby might get scared) and Wanks and Reggie don’t read the site enough to know they’re being volunteered. All in all, we’re going to have a raucous time.

So why would  a so called “sports website” (and I use that term lightly) be interested in ball and prostate cancer awareness? Well, I’m glad I asked that for you. First, mustaches were the first great performance enhancers (look at Rafael Palmeiro’s career…). Second, testicles are the most vital organs in all sports. Why do you think steroids are just artificial substances that are normally produced by your balls? Think about how many more titles Lance Armstrong would have won if he had two balls, or even three.

So, here is your call to action:

• We need your suggestions for a good team name
• We want you to join our team.
• If you don’t want to grow a lip sweater for a month, donate money to our team.
• Don’t turn your back on us when we look like pedophiles after a month’s time (or more like a pedophile in TRG’s case).

Let’s start with the team name. Put your suggestions in the comments section below (or if they’re too shameful email them to us at admin@fourthandfifty.com). Early front runners are “I am Keith Hernandez,” “Brad Childress is Major Dad,” “Fourth and a Furry Lip,” and “Mustache Fart and Fifty.”