Song of the Day: Mike Doughty – “27 Jennifers”

Obviously, the brown stain on the pants has been photo-shopped out.

The World Series in infinitely more exciting when the Yankees are not winning.  Unfortunately, that was only the case after the first game. Since then, the Bronx Bombers have rattled off three straight against a rattled Philadelphia Phillies squad. After the Phils took the first game on the road with a dominating performance by Cliff Lee and an offense that took advantage of CC Sabathia they have hit the proverbial brick wall.

Last night’s game saw Brad Lidge’s first appearance in the 2009 World Series and he made quite the impression. His woes during the regular season have been well documented (blowing [no homo] a league high 11 saves) after having such a dominant 2008. But, he’s been perfect through the first two rounds of this year’s playoffs… until the epic shitting of the bed when he took the mound in the ninth inning.

Pedro Feliz had just done his best Chase Utley impression in the eighth taking CC Sabathia yard and sending him to the bench. The game, tied at four, had little room for error. And err did the Phillies. Johnny Damon managed a hit on an extended at-bat, stole second and scampered to third when Lidge never covered the base. Texieara took a pitch off his arm and A-Rod promptly destroyed his slump in the WS by ripping a double into left field. That was pretty much all she wrote. The Yanks put up two more runs on the scoreboard and Mariano Rivera came in and did what he does best… end the game.

Luckily the Phils have their ace, Cliff Lee back tonight on four days rest. AJ Burnett takes the mound for the Yankees. Let’s hope that Philadelphia can pull this one out. Nobody wants to see the city destroyed if New York can manage to sweep all three games on the road and accept their crown as World Champions on foreign soil.

TEXANS – Having a hard time coping with a Texans team that’s winning? Let Fourth and Fifty help you out with that… We all saw Owen Daniels get injured. Now they’re not sure when he might make it back to the field. Daniels has been a stud thus far for the Texans and has become one of the top 3 players on the offensive side of the ball. That being said, Houston managed to overcome three first half turnovers (2 INTS and 1 Fumble) and win 31-10 against the Buffalo Bills. This marks only the second time the Texans have had a three-game winning streak. Oh, and a big hearty “fuck you” goes out to Steve Slaton. You single-handedly fucked my fantasy match-up against Wanks this week you KY covered fuck. Thanks for throwing out the line 1 carry, 3 yards, 1 fumble lost. Ass clown.

AEROS – Let’s talk a little puck. The Aeros lost to the Texas Stars (way less impressive than losing to the Dallas Stars) on Sunday. Their record is an anemic 6-7 through the first 13 games. And… that’s it.

ASTROS – Doug Brucail will not be back… Not that he was on the field much of 2009 anyway. He pitched a total of 17 2/3 innings for the ‘Stros this year. Apparently that wasn’t enough to pick up the 42 year old’s almost three-million dollar option. The Astros making a good personnel decision? Say it ain’t so.

COUGARS – Should we blame it on the early game? Richard Justice takes offense to the fact that a meager showing filled the stands on Saturday. I felt at home. I don’t know about anybody else. The empty parking lot took me back to the days of 2000. That wasn’t a bad thing necessarily. It meant more pre-noon beer for me and any of the other fans that showed up. If anyone wants to contest that point then go get fucked. The Coogs ended up pulling out the win even though they WILL give me a heart attack at the rip age of almost 30 if they continue to play defense like they have been. No, it won’t be the cigarettes, binge drinking and daily trip to McDonald’s…. It will definitely be the Cougars.

ROCKETS – Big games from Aaron Brooks (28 pts, 8 assists) and Trevor Ariza (33 pts) powered the Rockets to a win over the Portland Trail Blazers, 111-107.  Fin.

- Septimus Rex