Song of the Day: The Teenage Prayers – “Good Voodoo”

More apetizing than anything I could afford in college

The Saints tried every possible way the could manage to lose last night’s game against the Atlanta Falcons.  They just weren’t satisfied with blowing out their 7th straight opponent. No. They had to make it interesting. ESPN has commercials to sell, you see. Everybody must do their part to help the WWL to achieve global domination. Not EVERY team can have Brett Favre under center… Well, by the time he’s done retiring and unretiring he may have had a chance on quite a few of the clubs.

With no interest in either one of these teams, I have to say that I would have loved to have seen the Falcons turn the 1:23 left on the clock into 14 points and win that game. I really want to witness something huge. For every moment that’s played on the Top 100 ANYTHING I’ve probable seen maybe 5 of those things. Unless it was the Top 100 Draws Dana Dimel Ran on Third and Long. I saw pretty much all of those.

The only thing remarkable that happened last night was a revelation that came to me some time in the third quarter: Monday Night Football is becoming tiresome. Not because of the games, but because of the announcers. I’m subjecting myself to 3+ hours of Quarter Back fellatio every Monday. Seriously… is there someone on the field that you can talk about other than QB-A or QB-B? And, given that, can we figure out some way to describe something that isn’t hyperbole? Why does every player have to be “the best” whatever on the field. I don’t give a fuck. I just want to see the game be played. I want to see the monkeys dance for me. Dance, little padded monkeys, DANCE!

Oh… and John Gruden, or should I say Captain Obvious. Why didn’t you get the Hurricane Katrina reference out of the way in 2007 when it was a little more relevant? Seriously, he waited until the waning moments of the fourth quarter to unleash his revelation about Katrina and New Orleans’ love of the saints… Guess what, buddy… One day, Tom Benson (or Rita Benson LeBlanc) is going to do what owners do best. He’s going to throw Nawlins on it’s hands and knees and run through her like Jenna Haze until A) He gets out of the Superdome or B) He can move the team to Topeka. The only thing that’s kept that from happening already was Hurricane Katrina.

We’ll see how much the Saints fans like that when it comes to pass.

WORLD SERIES – Chase Utley deservers to  win the MVP for the World Series this year. Go ahead. Make an argument for any other player on either squad… The only person that comes remotely close is Mariano Rivera. You’re going to give the trophy to someone that hasn’t played more than 15 innings in the series? Utley IS the Philadelphia Phillies. 5 homeruns, 8 RBI, 6 runs… Hell, only one of his hits HASN’T been a homerun… and the was a double. Mark my words, Chase Utley should win the MVP even if the the Phils lose the 2009 World Series. (Bobby Richardson on the 1960 Yankees is the only player to win the MVP even though the Pirates won the championship)

ROCKETS – Let’s call this an early season “signature win” for the Rockets. Last night they took the wood to the Utah Jazz late in the game, pulling away when the score was knotted up and eventually leaving a 17 point gap between them and the Mormons. The struggles with the Jazz have been harped on for years. They are easily the most hated team by TRG (may he rest in peace). Eight players finished with double-digit points last night. EIGHT. That’s like the starting line-up plus three. Scola was the only one at the party with a double-double, finishing with 15 rebounds and 14 points. With nobody really sure of what this team is capable of this season, this should give all fans just a little bit of hope.

TEXANS – Well, it’s official. Owen Daniels is done for the rest of the season. You’re going to have to give me a second to cope with this news.

- Septimus Rex

[Image from here]